A Day of Oddities
by pen.maiden.myself
Summary: A crackfic in which Spider-Man and Loki are buddies, everyone decides to get married, and Thor destroys sidewalks. Unusual things happen, but will they end up pulling our heroes together? A collaboration with Soft-falling-Raindrops. /u/6106554/


Thor walked outside, thinking Jane would be there to pick him up already. She was 15 minutes late, and he was starting to worry, thinking maybe she got into a crash, or was injured. He decided to set out and look for her, but didn't get farther than 10 feet before he saw Loki, causally leaning on a tree, waiting for him. "Loki! What have you done with Jane!" Thor stormed, stomping closer to Loki.  
>Loki smiled, causing Thor to become even more annoyed. That sinister little raven-head had been acting far too goody-good in the last while, and Thor knew that it was for a purpose.<br>"Jane's late." Thor said to Loki. "Jane is never late."  
>"No, she's always late." Loki said calmly, still smiling at the man he had once called brother. "But then again, you weren't around for two years, now were you?"<br>Thor glares at Loki, thinking of the many ways he would get back at Loki if only his father would allow it. "I wasn't around because I was protecting the city you endangered, your home, with out a thought or care." Loki rolls his eyes, saying, "That never was my home! I was born of the frost giants!"  
>Thor couldn't think of what to say. Loki was right, he wasn't truly Asgard-born. He was of the enemy. He wasn't to be trusted.<br>"Just tell me where Jane is." He said, trying to keep the harshness out of his voice.  
>Loki shrugged. "I don't keep tabs on your girlfriend. Isn't she your responsibility?"<br>Just as Thor was going to summon Mjölnir, Jane pulled up in her car.  
>Jane looked at Loki, and Thor, and slowly turned her engine off "Um, what is Loki doing here? And sorry Thor, I was late because of a major traffic jam. Some weird red and blue suited guy was swinging around. Thor, want to go now? I got reservations to that restaurant you said you wanted to try!"<br>Thor felt his guard coming down, and he couldn't help but smile. Jane. Even her name soothed the anger in his mind. Suddenly he wasn't thinking about what an idiot Loki was, or how just how annoying Peter Parker was; he was completely focused on the beautiful woman that gave him a reason to live each and every day.  
>"Of course, Jane." Thor stepped into the car and buckled himself up. He didn't cast a final glance at Loki, even though he could feel the harsh glare of his ex-brother (was that even a proper term?) piercing into his skin. "Let's go," He murmured, and off they went to the restaurant.<br>While at the restaurant, Jane noticed Thor wasn't eating very much, and asked him, "Are you feeling ok? You haven't been eating very much, and you don't look very happy."  
>Thor sighed and answered, "It's my brother Loki. No matter how I try and deal with him, he's always causing trouble and hurting the people of Midgard."<br>Jane frowned lightly. "I thought you'd cleared things up with your brother. Does he need a kick in the face or something?"  
>Thor chuckled lightly at Jane's enthusiasm. "No, I believe that he will be fine." He growled and shook his head. "No, that was a lie. Jane, I don't know what's wrong with him. He's not accepting my help, nor my father's, nor even our mother's." He reflected upon the fact that his mother was the one Loki seemed to get along with the most. The fact that she was unable to help was devastating indeed.<br>"Hey, don't get all worried about it." Jane said. She smiled at him and took another bite of her food. "I promise you, siblings always do this kind of stuff. Especially siblings like Loki." She sighed and shook her head. "He's like a first-class jerk."  
>Thor smiled at Jane's description of Loki. "Yes, he is rather jerky, but he is family. I just wish I could fix this, like I can fix other things." He thought about it, and suddenly realized that he was starving. He started eating, and nearly choked on a small chewy black thing. "Um, Jane, might you know what this is?" He holds it up on his fork for Jane's inspection.<br>Jane studied it, and then replied, "That's a snail Thor, they taste awesome!"  
>Thor looked at it, and then popped it back in his mouth. "Well, Jane, there was something I wanted to talk to you about," he said as he pulls a little box out of a bag on the ground.<br>Jane's jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh Thor, this cannot be what I'm thinking it is."  
>Thor grinned at her. "Perhaps it is, perhaps it's not. You'll just have to wait and see. Jane," His tone turned more serious, and he looked into her dark brown eyes with honesty.<br>Just as Thor is about to open it, they hear a large boom and sounds of gun fire and people screaming. Jane gasps and looks out the window to see the Frightful Four making their way to the bank. Thor looked at Jane, pain in his eyes at having to leave right now. Jane smiled slightly, and said, "It's ok Thor, this can wait. They can't. Go, save lives again, and help them."  
>Thor nodded, and called out, "To me Mjölnir!" He ran out the door and flew up after them.<br>Thor landed with a crash, Mjölnir in hand. That was about the seventh bit of pavement he had destroyed in the last five hours. At this rate, the United States was going to make him personally bankrupt.  
>Speaking of banks...<br>"Step away from the bank, fiends!"  
>The four turned to him and smirked.<br>"So you're the guy who wears curtains as capes." Sneered Thundra, the brute of the Frightful Four. "I don't think you can control what we do, Asgardian."  
>Suddenly, Thor heard a frightful sound.<br>"Hey guys, it's me! Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!"  
>"That is a horrible line to use on villains." Thor muttered under his breath.<br>Spiderman landed beside Thor, glanced at him, and almost faints as he does a double take. "Oh my gosh! you are the legit Thor!? Prince of thunder?!"  
>Thor sighed. "Yes, now let's take down these villains, shall we?"<br>Spiderman yelled "Oh yeah!" He started hitting them with his web shooters. Thor struck lighting at Thundra, and knocked her to the ground with a grunt.  
>"Oh, you think you're tough, do you?" She glared at him, and hit him with her ball and chain and knocks him to his feet. She stood over him to deal a fatal blow, when suddenly a web shot out in front of her, knocking her down and plastering her to the ground.<br>"I've got your back, Thor! Oh my gosh, I can't even believe I'm meeting Thor." He giggled in a rather fanboyish way, and then jumped off to go attack another one of the Four.  
>"These juvenile villains shall not hold us for long." Thor said, immediately standing back up on his feet. "HA!" He pulled his arm back and then let it pound with electricity onto the cement. Another one of the Four was electrocuted and fell to the ground, unconscious. Oops. There might have been just a little too much electricity in that hit.<br>"Only two of them remain!" Thor yelled to Spider-Man. "I shall take on one, and you the other."  
>"Gotchya!" He shouted, taking out another one. Thor struck at them, soon enough, he and Spiderman had taken them down and tied them up. Now all they had to do was wait for the arrival of the police. Spiderman noticed a box on the ground, and went to pick it up. "Hey, what's this, Thor? It fell out of your pocket!" He handed it to Thor, who looked at it.<br>"Oh," Thor blushed lightly and took the box from his fellow hero. "It's, uh, nothing. Just... private... stuff."  
>One of Spider-Man's big, white eyes enlarged. The world thinks that this means he's generally raising an eyebrow, but no one's quite sure of it.<br>"That sounds strange and suspicious." Spider-Man said.  
>"Oh, just shush and let me be." Thor crouched down onto the ground, the little box in one hand and Mjölnir in the other. He jumped up into the sky, and flew across the skies and exactly back to where Jane was.<br>Jane was waiting at the restaurant, looking at her watch. "Three, two, one..." CRASH! Thor landed in front of Jane, looking as cool as ever.  
>"I am back, my love," Thor said. "Now, where were we?"<br>Jane blushed a bit. "Well," She said, "You were about to open a box of some sort."  
>"Oh yes," Thor said. He took the box out of his pocket, and knelt down in front of Jane. "Jane," Thor starts, "Will you marry me?"<br>Jane blushes, and says enthusiastically "Yes, Thor! Yes I will!"  
>Thor grinned and scooped Jane up into a giant bear hug, spinning her around the restaurant. Jane squealed and laughed, and Thor finally set her down onto the floor.<br>"I love you," He said, and then placed a quick kiss on her forehead.  
>Jane grinned at him. "I love you too. I just... wow. I wasn't expecting this, but... but I'm so excited!"<br>"I look forward to living the rest of my life with you." Thor said.  
>Suddenly, Jane's smile faltered. "But you can't do that, can you?"<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"I'm just a mortal. Oh man," Jane sighed and stepped back from Thor's embrace. "Odin is going to kill you."<br>"My father was my teacher as a child, and even though I take his advice now, I am still the maker of my own decisions. Jane," Thor reached for her hand and clasped it tightly. He removed the ring from the little velvet box and slipped it onto her finger. "I. Love. You. And I will marry you, Jane Foster, and we will live together until death do us part."  
>"Oh Thor," Jane batted her eyes at him. "That's so romantic."<br>Thor smiled and was about to reply before the infamous Tony Stark walked up.  
>"Hey guys." Tony said, standing behind Jane. "I watched that whole thing, recorded it actually. You never know when those things might come in handy."<br>Thor growled, "What are you doing here, metal man?"  
>"Watching you propose to - what's your name?"<br>"Jane." She sighed.  
>"Right, watching you propose to Jane." Tony smirked. "You know, I have been planning to do that with my girlfriend. Got the ring and all, just waiting for the right moment."<br>"Well Mr. Stark, are you done now?" Thor asked, still annoyed.  
>"Uh," Tony paused for a moment. "Yup, see ya!"<br>As the millionaire left, Thor turned back to Jane. "I apologize for Mr. Stark's lack of... timing skills."  
>Jane giggled. "Don't worry." She touched his hand and smiled. "What's the worst he could do; post it on YouTube?"<br>Suddenly, Jane's iPhone started beeping.  
>"Oh, that's just my email reminder... let me check that, it could be from Darcy." She fumbled around in her purse, taking a while to find her phone. Thor smiled lightly at that. His fiancé's klutziness was one of the reasons he truly did love her. "Oh my gosh,"<br>Thor knitted his eyebrows together in concern. "What's the matter, Jane?"  
>The brunette facepalmed. "I can't believe this. Speak of the devil..." She sighed and showed the phone to Thor. A YouTube feed was up. It said, "TONY STARK: 'Cheesy Wedding Proposal by Thor to Joan - YOU WILL DIE LAUGHING'"<br>Thor gritted his teeth together angrily. "That... that... I will go smash his face in."  
>"Calm down, or else you'll smash my phone in." Jane took the iPhone back from Thor and put it in her purse. She shrugged. "Now we just have to keep away from the paparazzi. That could be troublesome."<br>Thor smirked. He had an answer to that problem. "Come with me, Jane. Bring your things." He stood up and began to walk towards the door.  
>She stood up immediately, grabbed her things, and walked on after Thor. "Where are we going?"<br>He opened the door for her and they walked out onto the sidewalk. "Far away from these paparazzi you speak of. Come, Jane." She walked towards him, and he secured his arm around her waist. "Let's fly." And into the sky they went.


End file.
